Off to the Haitian Consulate We Go!

The first step in the adoption process is to get together your Dossier (that's a fancy term for folder of paperwork.)  I was told that is takes about 3 months to gather the necessary documents - and from the stack of paperwork that is on my kitchen table right now, I see why.

                                           My pile of paperwork after making copies at Office Depot

See what I mean?

Anyway...

I was really wanting to deliver our dossier in person and knew that we had about 1 1/2  months to gather said documents.  For those of you that know me, I can be quite determined when I have goal.  Just ask our friends about my determination to not loose a golf-cart race at Fort Wilderness Camping... just sayin'.

Since early-mid December, I have been focusing on my goal.  Finally, I was victorious last week when I made the journey to Orlando.  This last item on our dossier to-do list was to have certain, important documents 'stamped' at the Haitian Consulate.  It basically is a Haitian Notary for the documents.

The papers that I needed to have stamped arrived via FedEx around 10:30 in the morning and we were headed out the door a little after 11.  Yes, I was slightly determined to have this completed ASAP.

I herded the children into the car for the hour and 20 minute drive.  I even won extra credit points that day because Cole took his schoolwork with him to complete on the way - bonus!  The drive was uneventful but the natives started getting restless right before we arrived.  I didn't think that it would take too long and promised them all lunch AFTER we were done.  Turns out, that might have been a bad call - bonus points lost!

I had called the Consulate that morning to make sure that I had everything I needed - don't want to go all the way there without my ducks in a row!  As we were walking up to the building, I was giving 'the talk' to older kids about being on good behavior.  The moment we walked into the office, the receptionist called out, "Hello Mrs. B."  Apparently, there weren't too many non-Haitians coming into the Consulate that day.  She showed us to the waiting area and the older two were enthralled with all of the Haitian pictures, writing and people around us.

Jack, however, was not thrilled.  He had been strapped into a car seat for the last hour and 20 minutes and was NOT happy with sitting in the stroller.  He wanted to stretch his legs... for Jack, that means to R U N.  I believe he sat in the stroller for 3 minutes.  Maybe.  I was now trying to wrangle hold a very squirmy Jack, while listening to instructions from the Consulate receptionist that was kindly walking us back to the office.

 I don't know HOW he does it but Jack is like trying to hold a cat that doesn't want to be held.  Know what I mean?  It feels like one of those toy plastic tubes that have the gel on the inside and keeps slipping through your fingers.  He has such hidden talents. 

There were two ladies that share the office we were led to... and it wasn't that big to begin with!  I stumbled my way into the office with my little B's following suit.  The lovely Haitian ladies eyed each other cautiously.  I think they had a sixth-sense that my children were ticking time bombs.  To be fair - only one of them was an explosive bomb.

This turned out to be the LONGEST hour and a half process of my life!  After Jack coughed directly at one of the women -seriously, she flinched and I don't blame her- I ended up putting the offspring into the small 'holding room' that was beside the office.  I spent my time checking on the process of the paperwork and putting a lid on the ruckus that Jack was causing.  At one point, I came out of the office to find Jack in a standstill run...  his legs were going but Isabel had a hold of the back of his shirt.  All the while, he was screaming like a banshee.  Yes, my son has a healthy set of lungs.

I was a sweaty mess by the time I was handed our completed, Haitian stamped documents.  YAY!  I even took a break from the mayhem and asked the two -cooperating- children to smile with the Haitian flag that was in the waiting area...

What you don't see, is the little two year old that had taken this opportunity to help himself to the water cooler.  Oh, the fun never stops.

At the end of the day, I was questioning my sanity - and parenting skills - when I looked back at the events and appreciated the nuggets of awesomeness that God had placed in it...

One of the directors of the consulate had pulled me aside at one point (thankfully at the only time that Jack was content in my arms) and gave me her number, telling me that she would be available to us for anything that Sam or our family would need.  It was during this conversation that a woman, sitting in the waiting room and over-hearing us, came over and hugged me.  She was crying and said, "God bless you for taking care of His children."

After leaving the consulate, I treated the kids to Burger King (something my stomach later regretted) and the woman that took our order was Haitian.  It seems that I have become accostumed to the accent and picked up on it quickly.  She and I had a lovely drive-thru conversation - I even pulled out pictures of my new little man.  Then I made a quick stop at the Bass Pro-Shop.  A young man was very diligently trying to sell me a vacation-something.  After I tried to tell him three times that I wasn't interested, I finally said that we were in the beginning stages of an adoption and our funds were tied up right now.  His jaw dropped.  He came out of 'salesman mode' and then told me that his mother had adopted him and followed it up with 'God Bless You.'

Yes, He had my day overflowing with the good, the bad, the ugly, and the AWESOME!  I love motherhood!

Kids, We Need To Talk....

"Kids, we need to talk to you about something"...

This is how Stephen started the conversation with our two oldest children, when we told them about the adoption.  Both had just finished brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed.  Jack (our 2 year old) was already in the land of nod.  Honestly, I didn't even know that we were going to be talking with the children about it because I wasn't even sure if Stephen was ready to take that step forward.  I was leaving it up to him to when our family would take that leap.  As I said before, he needed to be 100% on board.

Well in that instant that he said those words, my head jerked around to his direction and I believe my jaw hit the floor.  Stephen just gave me this small smile of acknowledgement.  Yes, we are about to go to the point of no return.  Keep in mind, we hadn't really talked about this with many people.  We just asked our small group and some close friends to pray for us, that we would follow what God's will is for our family.  Stephen and I both knew that once the children knew, there is no turning back for us - as it was almost a given that the kids would be stoked and very-much-on-board.

The children, however, were in a frozen state of fear.  They had no idea what was about to come out of their daddy's mouth.  Cole said, "are we moving" and Isabel quickly followed that up with, "mommy, are you going back to work?"  Well, I guess we now know what each of their fears are??  We put them out of their miseries with a fast 'NO'.  

Stephen took a deep breath and continued  - 'mommy and I have been talking and praying about something for a long time and want to talk to you both.  How would you feel about our family adopting a baby from Haiti?'

After a quick breath of relief, they erupted in a unison YES! 

Then the flurry of questions started.  Isabel: Can we adopt a boy?  Cole:  When can we get him?  Isabel:  What is his name?  Cole:  Who is he?  Isabel:  How old will he be?

Stephen and I slowly started going through all of the questions with them.  When we got to the question of WHO, we showed them some pictures of little boys that we knew were waiting for their forever home at the orphanage.  Right away, Cole fell in love with our Sam.  

Then the serious talk took place.  We needed to make sure that they understood the level of commitment we were making...  

1.  Our family would need to make some financial cut backs for the foreseeable future.   We were going to have to make decisions based on the financial obligation we have to this child and bringing him home.  This could impact vacations, gifts and possibly extra-curricular activities.  -Check 

2.  Our decision right now is a life long commitment.  Even when our children are grown, he will always be their brother, our son, family.  'This little boy's children would one day be your nieces and nephews', is how we worded it for their level and understanding.  -Check

As we continued talking and looking at pictures, I noticed that Cole had run from the room.  He didn't seem upset but I wondered where he had gone.  He quickly returned, but he was now holding his piggy bank.  My little boy, all of 7 years old, came up to me, handed me his piggy bank and said, "take this and use it for the adoption.  It's not much but I've been saving it for something special and this is VERY important."  Wow.  My middle child.  My wild child.  He had just said two sentences that completely made every question and concern I had go from my heart and mind.  Oh the water works started and I was done for the night.  

We hugged them tight and kissed them good night.  Yes, we were a family with a shared vision and plan.  Was it daunting?  Extremely!  But we knew we were in this together and united for the long road ahead.

The Journey of Your Donations

Every wondered what happens to the humanitarian donations you give to Ruuska Village - the orphanage that our church sends missionaries to and where Sam is?  So many of you have generously donated food and baby items to me or fellow members of our church.  I want to show you where, how, and to whom it goes to.

                                        Donated Peanut Butter from my Father-in-law's Church... AWESOME!

It first starts with a nudge or a tug on your heart.  That feeling that this is something I need to do.  That's always followed up the that pivotal moment of:  am I going to or not.  I personally believe that every donation -no matter to what organization- becomes a blessing to both the giver and the recipient.  The donated gifts are often times given to a missionary and that is the last that you see of it, but now you will see the rest of the journey...

For every missionary traveling to Haiti, we are able to pack two 40 lb bags full of goods (formula, diapers, peanut butter, canned good, etc).  The airlines allow each person to check these two bags and then we are able to have one carry-on and one small backpack. Keep in mind, this means that we pack all of our personal belongings into the carry-on bags only.

Usually, our groups are pretty large.  My first trip had 15 members.  That means that we strolled into Miami International Airport with 30 large Army duffel bags - this is after our 3 hour drive south at 2:30 am.  We look like quite the Motley Crew.  As we check into the airlines (usually American Airlines or Insel) each person takes 2 of the bags with them up to the counter.

Then the 1 hour and 40 minute flight to Haiti...

                                                Our first glimpse of Haiti, as we are flying in

Once in Haiti, we are taken to the temporary baggage claim building - the original airport suffered extreme damage in the earthquake and is still under construction.

When we have located all of the bags, the FUN part begins.  Ruuska Village arranges for a driver to be there to pick us up.  We hustle past the sea of baggage handlers that are looking for tips for helping travelers with their luggage.  And then we load our 30 Army bags into the back of a pick-up.  Its quite the sight and I don't think that the FDOT would approve.

                                             The bags are tied to the back of the truck with rope

Us passengers load into the back of a tap tap (the Haitian equivalent of a taxi) for the 30 minute drive to the orphanage.

We have arrived at our destination!

As soon as we arrive, the bags are unloaded and they are taken to the Food Depot.  The Food Depot is a room lined with shelves.  This is where all of the items that will be given to the children and women are stored.

At times it looks completely full, but it only lasts that way for less than a week - then its close to bare shelves again.

Barbara - the American woman that has been the sole director for 20-something years - has designed a system where the women of the village come to the depot to receive their rations. The women line up outside of the food depot for their rations with big tubs for collecting their goods in.  Diapers and formula are common but there are periodic items like deodorant, shampoo, salt, matches and such.  It looks quite chaotic to us but you quickly start to see the method to the madness.  These tubs are also used to wash clothes, dishes and children in.  Handy huh?

                                                     
These women are the nannies that are hired by the orphanage to care for the children.  They live in the orphanage. Each is assigned a room and has about 3-4 children with them.  The nannies are responsible for feeding, bathing and caring for these beautiful children until they go to their forever homes.

And there it is!  The whole process.  From God's tug on your heart to the delivery of goods to these needy children.  Thank you for taking the time and money to show your love -and God's love- to His children!  And thank you, as a mommy, for helping give those babies food in their bellies, a dry diaper, and smiles!

And we're off to the races!

So this isn't adoption related, but it was a funny story!

As many of you know, Cole is in Cub Scouts.  He's what they call a Wolf (2nd grade) and he really enjoys all that scouts has to offer.  This time of year, the cub scouts hold their annual Pine Wood Derby races.   Every boy makes a race car out of wood and they race these cars down a large ramp that is about 30 ft long.  They even have computerized timing set up on each lane to see which car is the fastest.  I am told that our pack likes to spare no expense and go all out!  That sure makes things fun for us.

Many boys spend all year long perfecting their cars:  sculpting, painting, and polishing the axles.  The scouts have very specific requirements for these cars.  They have to be within certain length, height and weight limits.  Unfortunately, our family has not yet gotten to the place that we prepare for this evening fun in advance.  I do believe that Stephen started this process the weekend before... AND he had two to complete help make because siblings are able to join in the fun too!

Cole chose to make a mining cart - this coming from the game Mine Craft.  Isabel started out wanting to make a surf board car but this was later mended to a skate board (apparently they are easier to sculpt with the limited power tools we possess). 

The morning of the races, we still needed to paint the skateboard and glue the accessories onto both carts.  Here is Cole's gem mining cart drying.  There is a comb underneath it to angle it towards the heater that I had blowing at it to aid in drying it faster.  There are beads (gems) drying in good ol' Elmer's glue.

Isabel's 'Skating Serpent' was ready for action!  She cut the wood with Stephen's drill, painted, and glittered it herself.  It's a cool skateboard, right?

I thought Cole's mining cart was quite an ingenious idea.  He even put one of his lego mine rock monster to sit in it.  I didn't take pictures of the finished product because I was waiting to take a picture of him in his Cub Scouts uniform with his car at the race.  The best laid plans.....

Stephen took the older two kiddos to the church, where his pack meets, ahead of me because Jack and I were driving my car - Jack often gets DONE with pack meetings way before they are completed and we make a hasty exit before things turn ugly.

Anyway.

When I arrived at the church, I was greeted with Stephen and Cole huddled over one of the tables, working at a feverish pace.  Apparently, Cole's car was too heavy... WAY TOO HEAVY!  Stephen was having to chisel parts of the sides off, take out the Lego guy, and even drill holes in it to try and make it lighter.  He even enlisted the help of a fellow dad to hammer off one of the ends of the carts.  OH THE CARNAGE!  Wood pieces and gems were flying everywhere.  This was taken after some of the sides had been chiseled.

Cole handled it well and even resigned himself to the possibility that Isabel's car would be entered in his place as our 'family' derby car.  In the 11th hour, after much sweat, and as they were closing the car registration table, his car weighed in at exactly the max weight.  HALLELUJAH!  I do believe I heard Stephen mutter something about finding the nearest beer about this point.
 
Both kids had a blast racing their cars in their groups.  But it became quite obvious that they were not the fastest cars on the track and Jack was reaching his time limit so he and I headed home.  Baby boy was making a scene and needed his bed.  Fast.

When the rest of my crew got home, I was told that indeed their cars were not in the finals.  HOWEVER, they do have awards for 'superlatives' and Cole's now-train-wreck-of-a-car won the 'Most Unusual Car Award'.  He even got a trophy!  He was the toast of his own little town - and I think Daddy was quite proud too.

Here is the result of our wild night at the races:

Notice all of the willy-nilly drill holes.  *Sigh*  It really was quite the masterpiece at one point but what a story it now has!

What's In A Name?

To me, one of the most exciting things about being pregnant is picking out a name.  Well it turns out, that excitement is no different when you are adopting.  An added bonus now is that our older children are of age to partake in the fun!

Once we knew that then-Davidson was going to be our son/brother, the family began serious talk about his name - do we keep it or fancy him a new one?  Stephen and Isabel (our oldest at 10 years of age) were Switzerland in the debate.  They were fine either way.  Cole (our second born, who's almost 8) and I were on polar ends of this thought.  He liked the current name and I, however, never really warmed up to it.  Not that I dislike the name David or Davison -granted its not my first choice when naming my child- but it just didn't fit him.  You know?

So the process began on thinking of new names.  My first thought was Matthew.  This is a name I love.  Actually, I was going to be named Matthew if I was born of the male persuasion.  A couple of years ago,  Stephen and I were having dinner with some of our close friends.  We were discussing adoption then and I said that I would love to name an adopted son Matthew.  Don't know where that came from but its what I liked.  Apparently, I was the only one in our household that liked that name.  So on went the search.

We tried all of the biblical names and came up with a few front-runners - Noah and Matthew (I was still holding on and even referred to him as Matthew Davidson on a regular basis).  After endless discussions, Stephen finally said, "these names just doesn't fit my syllable requirement."  What?  It turns out that my engineer husband likes names that do NOT have the same amount of syllables as our last name.  Being that our last name has 2 syllables, this nixes A LOT of names.  OK.  Back to the drawing board we go.  But at least we may be on the right path now.

Over Christmas week, our family of 5 stayed at a lovely cabin in the Virginia mountains.  We never left the cabin.  Ever!  We enjoyed the snow, board games, crafts, and name discussions.  Christmas afternoon, while Cole was knee-deep in his Lord of the Rings Lego gifts, he declared that he had a suggestion... Frodo.  Seriously?!  I quickly declared his name voting privileges gone. He giggled and followed it up with, "how about Samwise."  Yeah, he wasn't helping his cause!

We continued throwing out names here and there throughout our quiet vacation but I found myself thinking about the name Sam.  It was really growing on me.  While we were on our way home, I suggested to Stephen that maybe the name Sam would be a good fit for our boy.  It is biblical AND it fits his syllable requirement perfectly... Samuel is 3 and Sam is 1.  A match made in heaven.  We all quite liked it.

I sent this suggestion out to the facebook word because, well, that's what I do.  I work well when I have thrown ideas at every available mind.  There was some concern that a name change would be hard for our little guy once he comes home.  I gave this some thought and came up with a solution...

The kiddos and I spent this last week making these shirts for our Sam.  We are hoping that the nannies and missionaries will start calling him Sam now and that will hopefully make the transition easier.  What do you think?  One of Stephen's cousins brought by the mom shirt at the top.  I told her that I'll forgive the color choice!

Our Adoption Story...

Our Adoption Story... As of now:

I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I went to college, started a career -sort of- but I always knew that my life's focus was going to be about the joys and challenges of motherhood. When I was in my late teens, it was laid on my heart that I was to do more than have my own biological children. At the time, I didn't know if that was to be a surrogate for couples that could not carry their own child or if I was meant to adopt. After getting married to my wonderful husband -Stephen- and having 3 beautiful children, I realized that this calling was for adoption - although I didn't know when or from where we were going to adopt from. I did know that this was going to be an international adoption. Not that there is anything wrong with domestic, it just wasn't my calling. After our second child was born, we looked into Russian adoptions but never felt led to go further down that path. And then the prospect of adoption was put on the proverbial back burner.

Five years later (in October of 2011), we were sitting in church listening to some of our youth members talk about their experience on a recent missions trip to Haiti. Their trip was to an orphanage, run by an American women, that is located on the outskirts of Port Au Prince. Even though Haiti had not been "on my radar" at all, I knew I had to go. The Holy Spirit about knocked me out of my chair, telling me that I must go. I leaned over to Stephen and whispered, "I have to go there". Even though he thought I had lost my mind, he supported me going on my first-ever missions trip in February 2012. What an experience that was! (the whole story of how I was financially able to go is AMAZING too - but that's a story for another time) We see the pictures and hear the stories, but to witness this absolute poverty is life-changing. I learned that it is just by the grace of God that we were born in this wonderful country. Its what we choose to do with the privilege that shows us the person we are. After meeting the people of Haiti, to look into their eyes/souls, you realize that they are no different than you. They have yearnings, dreams, and life ambitions. A mother there loves her child just as much a woman loves her child here in the US. The only difference is that we have the abilities to makes those dreams a reality.

I went on a second missions trip in September 2012. This time, Stephen came with me. Neither of us realized at the time that this was a very important piece of our adoption story. We were able to see the country together. To smell the smells. Meet the people. Fall in love with the children. It was during this trip that we bonded with a very lovable little guy that was at the orphanage who was 2 1/2 years old and already in the process of being adopted. Stephen and I prayed the whole time we were there for God to let us know if this was the path for us. After much prayer, we decided leave our contact information with the director and asked her to contact us if the adoption that he was being processed for didn't happen. Ultimately, the adoption has continued and we are very happy that he is going to a wonderful home, with loving parents and many brothers and sisters to dote on him. There was a plan, we just didn't know if at the time.

But where did that leave us? For the next two months we prayed about that.

I had no doubt that this was the path for me but I needed my partner, my husband, my Stephen to be 100% on board. In the beginning of December, he decided to take that leap of faith. We told our older two children (ages 10 and 7) one night before bedtime - our youngest is 2 and was already fast asleep. Of course they were beyond ECSTATIC but we made sure to talk with them about the big picture... the time involved, the financial obligations for our family, the permanence of this decision. After an hour talking, we went to bed as a family united in the goal of bringing a parent-less child into our home forever.

Enter Davidson...

I contacted the director of the orphanage to let her know that we were still wanting to adopt and that we were interested in a little boy around our youngest child's age. Over the next week or so, we were sent information on four little boys that needed a family to call their own. One of those files was for a little baby that we remembered meeting last September. His name was Davidson and he was about 10 months old when we met him. My memories of him were of a little baby that was very quiet, non-demanding, and content on watching the big kids play. After reviewing his file, my heart ached for this innocent little child that I never saw smile they whole time we were there. He was brought to a local hospital around May or June by a man that may have been his biological father. Davidson was very sick with pneumonia. After spending two weeks in the hospital, he was recovering well but no family came back to get him. He was then processed into the IBESR system (their DCF equivalent) and was issued abandonment papers. It was July 2012 when he arrived at the orphanage.

Our family reviewed, talked and prayed about all of the files that we received but our thoughts always returned to Davidson. We knew that we were the family that could give this little boy the love that he needs to grow up and become the man, I'm sure, his birth mother wanted him to become. He was to be our son.

Since then, it has been a flutter of activity! Telling our friends and family about our new addition, gathering our needed paperwork (oh the amount is staggering!), and preparing for an upcoming trip to see our boy. I can't wait to see him smile and share that with you! But the most fun, for us, has been to choose a new first name for him. Stephens brother is named David and we also wanted him to have a fresh start. We spent a good portion of the holidays talking about what names we liked and which ones would best suit our Haitian son. The kids had a ball! I do believe they suggested every name from Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings. After much discussion, we decided on the name Samuel - Sam for short.

Sam Davidson Bordin, born October 22, 2011, will be coming home some time this year. He will be given the love and family that every child longs for and deserves. We will raise him to love God, to have respect for himself, and to be a wonderful member of society. I'm sure that his birth mother had dreams of him having that kind of a life and I am honored to be a part of making that happen.

Is this the best time to be committing our family to the cost of an adoption? Honestly, no. BUT we have no doubt that this was what we are meant to do RIGHT NOW. We have faith that all will be provided for and that Sam will be welcomed with love and that he will be a blessing to our friends and family. We thank you for coming along with us in this journey. To share in our joys, challenges and homecoming!

1 Samuel 1:27 I prayed for this child and the Lord answered my prayer and gave him to me