M-I-C-K-E-Y....

Recently, I wrote a blog post about 'going to' Disney on a tight budget.  Well our budget hasn't changed but our Littles were given a generous gift for their birthdays - a ticket to Disney World!! 

So cool!!

Since our house is bursting at the seams with stuff -mostly toys- we asked family and friends that wanted to give a birthday gift to our boys to consider sending gifts towards a Florida resident pass.

Don't know what a Florida Resident pass is??  Well, its one of the many perks of living in the Sunshine state (or you could also look at as our pension for dealing with all of the tourists that come to see the mouse!)  Anyhoo.  Florida residents are offered discounted rates and even some annual pass offers. 

For instance, we were looking at the weekday annual pass.  Since we avoid tourist attractions during the peek times anyway (weekends and holidays), this was a perfect fit.  In the end, it cost less than the cost of 2 tickets.  PLUS, we have a friend that could get us another discount on top of that!! 

Needless to say, the boys had a wonderful birthday party on October 18th.

We were able to get the kiddos and myself (daddy has opted out of Mickey Mouse festivities) with a minimum expense for our family.  The older two have offered to put their band classes on hold until next year so we can apply those costs towards the 'field trips' we'll be making (hopefully twice a month - at least!)

Last week was our first time going to the "Happiest Place on Earth"!!  How exciting!!

I was in tears the whole way down Main Street.  It was amazing to think that this little child had not even seen running water just 8 months ago and now he was walking down the magical streets of Disney World. 

This was also Jack's first time going.  He is my 'strong, silent guy' and just took it all in.

We had such a wonderful day!  My mom bought a ticket too. 

Granny!!

That will be perfect for those times that the littles will have to sit out on a ride.  One of us will go with the older 2 and the other will stay with the little guys.

 

Jack and Sam could barely see over the top!

Not all of the rides were loved!

The Littles even got to meet one of their favorite characters!!

 

Fist bumps and high fives for everyone!!

Two days later, on Halloween, we went with some of our best friends instead of stocking up on unwanted candy.  Saying we had a BLAST would be an understatement!!  Here are some photos of our adventures... 

Two moms and 7 kids... oh my!

 

 

We are looking forward to a FUN year at the 'Mouse House'!!

There ARE Good People in the World

We have had our good ol' Toyota Sequoia for 10 years now.  She was bought while I was pregnant with Cole and has served our family very well.

Seriously.  Best vehicle ever!

Over the last couple of months, her old battery has been put to the test.  It seems that our family has had difficulty SHUTTING DOORS, turning off lights and such, thus leaving me with a dead battery to deal with the next day.  (and usually when my hubby is down in Miami and not available to help)

Thankfully, there has always been a neighbor, passer-by or even a lawn guy (true story) to come and resuscitate the old girl back to life.

Last Friday, I was taking the kids to Orlando and Stephen was working locally.  To save of gas money, I piled the herd kiddos into Stephen's little car and left our truck for him. When I was about half way to Orlando I got a call from Stephen that the old battery had finally, completely, thoroughly died.  Not even cpr (aka. a jump) could bring it back to life.

Thus, Stephen spent his day working from home.  Between you and me, I think he enjoyed a quiet day at home.  Just sayin'.

Late that same day, I received an interesting call from a neighbor...

He said that he had noticed our truck in front of our house and had heard about our battery issues.  He then said that he also noticed that the front 2 tires were quite worn.

Yes, these items are on our ever-growing to-do list.

But then he said that he had talked with his family and a local garage and they wanted to take care of ALL of these items for us!!!  WHAT?!

We were amazed and speechless at the offer!  ...and quite frankly, Stephen didn't feel that we could accept such a generous gift.

The neighbor then went on to say, "please don't say no.  You carry some precious cargo in that truck and I have it all worked out with the company."  How wonderful is that?!

So, at 6am this morning, they came over and got our ol' girl out of the drive-way.  She spent the day at the car spa!!!  When she was driven back to our house tonight, she had 2 brand new tires, a new battery, and oil change.  PLUS, they had replaced a faulty warning light breaker and flushed out the systems.

I don't even know if this other family grasps the gravity of this blessing to our family...


Pay no attention to the grumpy face on Jack... he had just woken up from a late afternoon nap

We are so incredibly THANKFUL!!  What a true blessing to our family!!
Now to think of a way to thank this family for their thoughtfulness....  Any ideas?

 

Hair today, Gone tomorrow

In our house, we have a lot of hair.  Even our boys like to sport the long 'do too!

Personally, its one of my 'things'.  I've always cut and colored my own hair and I also cut everyone's in the family.

I blame my mom... watching her be a hair dresser during my entire childhood left a BIG mark.  Well, at least its a good one!

Anyway.

I found it extremely difficult to have no say over Sam's hair while he was at the orphanage.  Those children's hair is at the mercy of the nanny's whim.  I cringed -some from fear- the first time that I saw him with a shaved head because I've seen the long straight razor that they shave them with.

Here are some of Sam's infamous 'dos while there:

And my personal favorite -NOT-....

Once he came home, I relished in growing it out, finding the right mixture of hair care products and styling it.  WOW, was there a lot for me to learn.

I think that I was doing pretty good too.  His hair were growing healthy and looked great when I styled it.

 

And then swim team season started.

The Littles spend the entire time playing in the pool.  I didn't realize that the chemicals were really drying out Sam's hair. 

Last week, a friend suggested that I try a sleeping cap for him.  It will help to hold in the moisture and to keep his twists held together more, when he has them in.

So here is our new tool in Sam's hair care.  We will call it his 'ninja cap.' [hat tip to some fellow Haitian adoptive mommas]

What do you think?

Loving the Adopted Child

Again folks, I'm asking for grace from you before we even start this topic.  I'm wanting to give you all an actual account of how my feelings (particularly my love) have been these past 6 months since Sam has come home.

Its not always pretty but its real!  Real for me at least...

So the moment that I knew that Sam would be my son, my son, was magical.  It was love at first (or second as it were) sight!  This love was a unique love.  It was special.

I knew in my heart that I loved him and would always love him as my son. 

It was a protective love too.  I immediately wanted to protect him from the hurt that I knew he had in his short life.  I got angry and sad when I heard that some thought that this was a child that would not be loved or adopted. 

Eventually, it grew into a love so fierce that I knew that I would lay my life down to save him.

This was the love that spoke of when we finally got to bring him home.  I loved him like I had carried him in my womb for 9 months.  I would do anything, ANYTHING, for him.  Always.

And then our world needed to grow even more because, surprisingly, this love was not enough.

You see, I was not counting or realizing the importance of those oh-so-important infant stages.  When you are cuddling and gazing into the eyes of your precious baby and falling helplessly, UNCONDITIONALLY, in love with him.

It turns out that those are important times.... but it doesn't have to be a deal breaker!

When your adopted child comes into your family, they are not this helpless newborn that gazes lovingly at you for their every need.  Oh no!  They come with -in some cases- years of experiences and history. 

You have dreamt and loved this child from afar.  Longed and ached for them to be tucked into their bed, under your roof.  Once it actually happens, you're left thinking "ok, what do I do with this child now?"

Their past experiences come up in just about every aspect of their/your life... and mostly, that's not a positive thing. They will test your every limit, boundary and last nerve because they -honestly- owe you nothing.  You have not been the one feeding and clothing them for the last several years.  They have no respect for you or your authority in your house.  They have no idea or concept of the time you spent struggling to get them home.  [oh, my heart aches for these babies]

BUT we keep on trudging forward... because we are family.  For better or worse.

We would have our good days and we have days that I would either end up in a fetal position, crying or face first into a 1/2 gallon of ice cream.  (often times I would prefer the later, just so you know)

You keep on trying new parenting approaches.  Change structures and routines to find out what works and what doesn't.  You break out those adoptive parenting books that you thought you wouldn't need and WISH that you would have actually finished reading them BEFORE your child came home! 

And P-R-A-Y.  Lord, did I spend a lot of time praying.  Praying for guidance to raise this child in the loving environment that he deserves.  Praying for the wisdom to change myself and allow myself to grow.  And praying for the grace to forgive Sam's faults but mostly my own.

AND THEN IT HAPPENS!  You don't even realize it.

It sneaks up on you - just like those 10 pounds did from all of the ice cream!

You fall completely in love with your child.  And I'm not talking 'he's my son and I would die for him' love.  NO!  Even more!

The 'I love you UNCONDITIONALLY' love.  No matter how frustrating he can be, I can see past it now.  To the little boy that he really is.  The little guy that wants to truly please and learn to follow the rules... he just struggles with them at times. 

Those 'flaws' aren't really there anymore.  WOW!  How freeing and amazing it is for both of us!

It took almost 6 months of struggle, patience, hard work, and faith to get to this point and, YEEHAW, it is worth every moment!

Do we still have room for improvement?  You bet ya!  BUT we should always be striving for that.  Right?

Changing Hearts... through adoption

I was nervous.  BOY, was I nervous to tell my parents about our decision to adopt from Haiti.

They had expressed their dismay at my mission trips to Haiti with our church BUT they had always supported me.  Every time I went, I knew that my mom and dad were at my house watching my kiddos while Stephen was at work.  THAT was worth its weight in gold!

But to actually bring an orphan into our family?!  That was a whole other realm for them!

My parents had always been called to local/backyard ministries.  While they served for years with Meals on Wheels, I dreamt of serving overseas.  They did not understand my 'calling' for global missions.

And that's OK.  We all have our different callings.  Some local, some global... some with children, some with animals.

I decided to call them -YES, CALL them- with the news that they would be gaining a grandson from Haiti.  Maybe this wasn't the best route but, hey, I'm a wuss sometimes!  Seldom but sometimes! 

The conversation went, unfortunately, like I had feared....  lots of crying (my mom), lots of frustration (my dad) and lots of sadness (me).

This was new territory for all of us.  I was not always the most compliant child but we had never really been at odds with each other. 

I kept telling myself that they loved me enough to love whom I loved. 

[wash, rinse and repeat.. again and again for the next several months]

The interesting thing was, I felt God's guidance during this time.  A certain calmness to the matter.  My natural instinct is to -sometimes defiantly- stand up for what I believe in and do it boldly. 

But not this time.

This was my family.  My mom and dad AND my son.

I really felt like I needed to allow them to feel these emotions that they were having.  I couldn't force them to change OR love my son. They were coming from a place of fear.  Fear for me, my children and my family's dynamic.  As we all know, a parent will always worry about their child and they feared how my family could possibly be harmed by our new addition.

For the next couple of months, I would answer most of their questions and concerns with the same statement, "OK, if you feel that way" or "OK, that is your choice".  Ugh, was that hard and frustrating for them to hear BUT I didn't want to put my emotions onto it.  This was their journey to take too.

And, wow, did we have some confrontations and questions...  "Are you sure?"  "Can you still change your mind?"  "This is going to be a lot of money!" 

Then, "Why not locally?"  "I'm not sure if I can have him here at my house when you bring him home."  "I don't think that I can babysit your kids anymore when he comes home."

*I said that this was going to be a truthful and raw post... it wasn't pretty y'all!*

I went from a call-ya-everyday relationship with my mom to maybe pick up the phone every 2 weeks to show you that I still love you.  It. Was. Hard! 

But I knew that this was exactly where I needed to be.

Our relationship was now filled with hurt and frustration on both sides.  BUT I felt a clear message that I needed to approach this with as much grace and compassion as I could (and that is saying a lot from a person that can be known to have a temper at times.  Just sayin')

I chose to allow my mom to have her feelings without me challenging them constantly.   They were valid and I couldn't short her that.

So what did I do?

I started to carry on as usual.  I would call and visit my parents BUT I would also bring up Sam and any adoption news we had.  I would not slight her feelings but I also had to stay true to our family.  I would still ask them to watch the kids when I would go to Haiti to visit Sam... and they ALWAYS would. 

I respected their feelings but continued to hold to the truths that this was my son -their grandson- plus trust that God would soften their hearts to our family's future.

What did they do?

Well, at first they ignored the whole situation.  I think that they were hoping that this was a fad that would go away with time.  Obviously, it wasn't.

BUT, 10 months into our journey, my mom sent a present with me to give to Sam on his 2nd birthday.  It was a backpack with a couple of Super Man items in it.  The thing was, she had written his name on the top of it and said that it was 'for when he comes home'. 
 
I cried when I got alone that day.  It was the first time that she had acknowledge that he would be coming 'home'.  YAY!

 Then two months later, Christmas came.  I found a present under our tree for Sam from 'Papa and Granny'.  Again, I cried for this show of love and acknowledgement.  We held the present aside for when he came home.  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.  And I was happy for every one of them!
 
Soon after, as most of you know, we received an email and call that Sam was sick.  On February 11th, I needed to get down to Haiti ASAP.  My first call?  Of course... My mom!!  [Here's a link to that scary story:  http://bringinghomesamb.blogspot.com/2014/03/my-longest-day.html ]

I could tell that she was just as scared as I was for Sam's health and future.  As far as we knew at that moment, he may not survive.  She assured me that I could leave my house immediately for the airport and that the kids would be OK... Granny was on the way!  For ALL of my kids!

I spent the next 2 weeks in Hell.  I don't say that lightly.  There were times that I did not think that my son would make it out of Haiti in one piece.  I saw a child die in front of me at a local hospital.  Multiple, emergent emails to USCIS were going unanswered.  BUT still I could contact my family at home and know that they were being cared for.  AND I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD IT ANY OTHER WAY!

So the day that we were coming home was a whirlwind.  There was no pep talk before hand.  No, "this is your grandson coming home, be nice!"  Nothing like that.  I was still in survival and let's-get-this-done mode.

I was NOT prepared for what I encountered when we arrived at home....

Tears.

Happy to meet you.

I love you.

I am your Granny, tears.

Yes, it was love at first sight.

Folks, we were raised in the deep south.  There are still (no matter how much the media wants to tell you there's not) racial division going on...  but my mom welcomed this grandson into our family with the tears of a new Granny. 
 
What I mean by that is that is there was a lot of uncertainty.  A lot of unknowns.

How would this child from a different race blend into our "Lily white" family (not my words but from that of a social worker)?  How would we all blend and mesh together?

But when it actually happened.... there were no need for words....

Love speaks above it all!

LOVE conquers all fears!!

So, in the words of my mom....  we share this post with you all because it is 'real'.  Real to us!  My parents could not love this little boy anymore... from their own words.  We want to share our story with the world. 

Families can be made up of all different races, creeds, nationalities, 'needs' BUT we are all family in the end.  And no matter what, our son will have a family standing behind him.  ALWAYS!

He's My Brother...

I had a bit of an epiphany this past week...

Our family has gotten a bit used to people giving us second glances when we are out and about.  The 'chatty Nancy' in me loves answering questions about adoption.  My dream is that we may be advocates for adoption and possibly be a catalyst for someone to pursue adoption.  [What an honor that would be!]

However, there is a part of me that is concerned with talking too much, in front of the children, about how Sam is adopted.  I don't want it to always be in the forefront of his mind.  He is first, and most importantly, our son.  Not our 'adopted' son.  This was really brought home last week when we were at Miami's Seaquarium (where all of these photos were taken at.)

There was a play area set up with a bunch of water slides.  The Littles were itching to get on them.  Cole decided to play the good big brother and took one for the team =  helping the boys climb their way to the top of the inflatables.

He stood in the long lines while Isabel and I hid from the Miami sun about 15 feet away.

On the last slide, I noticed that a group of young black girls talking to them while they were waiting in line.  Being the curious sort, I asked Cole about the conversation when they returned...

Apparently, girl #1 peaked around Cole's shoulder and asked if the Littles were his cousins.

His reply was, "No, they are my brothers."

Girl #2 popped her head out of the line, around #1 and said, "but he's black."

Cole... "Yes.  Yes, he is."

And that was it.  Short.  Sweet.  And perfect!

I often say that I learn a lot from my children and this was one of those times. 

Sometimes, less is more.  Right?